Category Archives: Thoughts With a Twist of Lime

Random thoughts and stories with cocktails!

AND WE’RE BACK!

So 2015 is officially underway!  I have FINALLY gotten my new site set up!  (Well, in the right spot, I know it doesn’t look a lot different!)  I am hoping everyone gets this, and that everything transferred the way it was supposed to!  I realized through all of this that I love to share stories, recipes, etc.  I love fiddling around with computers and seeing what I can get it to do.  But dear lord!  When it comes to all the technical stuff?  Nothing but a series of hoots and clicks!

I hope the holiday season treated everyone well, and you rang in the New Year with a BANG!  Me?  I was “spring cleaning!”  Not kidding.  There was something kind of cathartic about it.  But for some reason I felt this need to watch the ball drop.  Why?!  I swear!  THAT made me cry!  You cannot watch Rockin’ Eve without seeing nothing buy people kissing at midnight!  It just can’t be done!  To that I say “Thanks A LOT!”  After that, some fancy cheese and champagne, I threw on some Psych and went back to cleaning.  Over all, a pretty good night.

The time off was great!  I think I worked about 5 days in 2 weeks!  But sadly, by the end of January, I just needed a break again!  Now we are nearing the end of February and I need a VACATION!  Something just has to give this year!  Not sure what, but something!

Won’t take up much of your time, but I wanted to let you know I have been saving up so much stuff that I wanted to tell you guys about but couldn’t for fear I would lose it in the transfer!  I’m hoping you will all still get the email updates that you signed up for!!  If you see any issues, please let me know!  Still learning, playing and then fixing!  LOL!

 

Goodnight, all!

Lila  –  xoxo

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! (w/ Sausage Dip Recipe!)

HI, ALL!

Just wanted to check in!  You haven’t heard from me for a while for a couple of reasons:

1.  I joined an AMAZING group – “Learn To Blog.”  Where I learned I began my site in the wrong place!  So I’m not sure how things will cross over, so I need to get a few things set up and make that happen!  Just haven’t had the time!

2.  IT’S CHRISTMAS!!  OMG!  I can’t even tell you how nuts things are!  I’m set to be out of town every weekend in December!  One week, this past week, I did almost DOUBLE the amount of massaging than I normally do!  (I seriously took baby aspirin because I was fearing a heart attack! .., I’m not kidding!)  I have NO Christmas decorations up (except the lights on the bushes in the front yard, which I was lucky enough to have a break on a day where we had almost an 80 degree day that day in which to put them up!!)  But that’s it!  The tree is still in the attic, etc.  It is just NUTS!  As soon as I have time to breath, it will be 2015.  (Bless the people who told me EXACTLY what they wanted to Christmas this year! 🙂 )

3.  See number 2, then add in all the regular B.S.!  Enough said.

So don’t think I’ve given up this journey!  I WILL BE BACK!

Before I go – let me leave you a WONDERFUL and EASY recipe that a friend gave me!  (Sorry, I have no pictures!  Was making dinner for a crowd whilst said crowd demolished this dip!)

HOLLY’S SAUSAGE DIP

1 lb Breakfast Sausage (I used hot – Use a good brand so you’re not left with mostly grease!)

16 oz. Sour Cream

8 oz. Cream Cheese

10 oz. can Diced Tomatoes w/ Green Chilies, drained

Brown sausage, drain excess fat.  (I didn’t really have any to drain, so if you use the good stuff, you may not!)  Melt in and mix in cream cheese.  (This just makes it a little easier to mix)  Then add sour cream and drained tomatoes.  THAT’S IT!  IT IS SO GOOD!  My mom plans to make a batch for a brunch!  You can use it as a dip or put it on a biscuit!  I throw it in a dip-sized crock pot and put out tortilla chips!  Ole’!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, EVERYONE!  I LOOK FORWARD TO CHATTING WITH YOU IN THE NEW YEAR!

<3, Lila.

Adventures in Dating Services (Part Three)

A quick update – since there really isn’t much to tell.  This is pretty damn sad, actually!  After spending $1,000 on a dating SERVICE, and about a month later:  still not ONE date!  I could have done this on Match!  I hate that I had the gut feeling that I shouldn’t have done this.  Do you ever have that feeling?  You KNOW this is probably not the best idea for you, but you do it anyway?  Then what happens?  I ALWAYS KICK MYSELF LATER!  ALWAYS!  I just thought this time was because this time I was dealing in an area that I’m not comfortable with.  So I just thought I was pushing myself out of my comfort zone.  Which I still was.  And it is still not over.  I know this.

Anyway, so here is the latest:  I spoke to guy, we’ll call him “43” almost 3 weeks ago now.  We ended things with ME suggesting that we meet up for a drink when he gets back into town.  (He travels a lot for work.)  He agreed, and said that should be “some time next week.”  I have LITERALLY not heard a word from him since!  And it can’t be that he is nervous because since I made the suggestion, he already has a “yes.”  I gave in and shot him a text on Friday afternoon, and so far NOTHING!  (It is now Sunday afternoon.)  I’ll be interested to see how the MM group handles situations such as these.  Please!  I canNOT be the first person this has happened to!

Bottom line:  This was supposed to be fun and easy, and it has been anything but.  I have paid a f**k-ton of money for a huge PAIN-IN-MY-ASS experience!!  I can’t help but to wonder, though, if I’m not that 2% case.  You know?  Like this is one of those cases that RARELY happens, but, of course, it is happening to me.  And I know what you are thinking, because I would be thinking it to… “with that attitude of course it is happening to you!”  Seriously, though, I have tried to put so much positivity into the universe with all of this, but it’s getting pretty old!

On a positive note:  The laundry is almost done, new grass has been planted, and had some fun this weekend with a girlfriend celebrating her birthday!  All things considered, a pretty damn good weekend.  (And BEAUTIFUL!)

 

Optimism - shecooksinstilettos.com

Adventures in Dating Services (Part Two)

I recently received a phone call from my “first match.”  On the one hand I’m excited, maybe even a little nervous.  On the other, I’m a little perturbed.  Let me explain.  I was originally told that I would basically get a heads up before actually talking to a “match.”  But I didn’t.  Seriously, this company is really ticking me off!  Apparently it was an “email issue” with their system.  Oh good, so it is a known issue.  Sweet.  So I call to get the goods on the guy they have matched me with before calling back my cold call.  Hang on, let me back up one more time by explaining what led up to what I’m about to tell you.  In the first meeting with the MM (matchmaker) she asked me what my age range was.  I said 32-40.  I’m 36, this is fair, right?  She responded by saying “Well, most people usually do a 10 year range.”  So I RELUCTANTLY agree to her terms, so now we are at 32-42.  After I paid all my money, and became “active” I emailed because I just wasn’t really happy with the whole age thing.  I tell them over and over, I’m really not happy with the idea of going over 40.  (I have my reasons, albeit morbid, I’m not just being a jerk!)  They basically throw all these facts and me and make me feel silly, so I agree to let them keep it at 42.  My first match?  …43!  I WAS PISSED!  Especially because the chick giving me that deets IMMEDIATELY says “HE JUST TURNED 43!” So she knew I wasn’t going to be happy about it.  GRRR!!!  Anyway, we have discussed it further and come to a new agreement on the matter, so moving on.

I don’t want to get too much into talking about the guy because we still haven’t met.  I will still meet him with an open mind because he didn’t know they matched us outside of my parameters.  So not his fault.  He is out of town a lot during the month with work, so I left things as “let’s meet for a drink when you get back into town.”  He agreed.  Though, I have to ask:  at this point I wait for him to contact me, right?  Because I haven’t heard from him.  Based on our first conversation, I’m not entirely surprised.  He did make it sound like it is more his family and friends that want him to find someone; he never once said he joined the company because HE was wanting to meet someone.  I thought that was weird.  But he seemed really nervous, so again, moving on.

Honestly, I’m hoping I don’t hear from him this weekend!  I’m taking on of my quarterly “mini-vacations” this weekend, and I REALLY need the me-time to get shit done!  Which means I’ll hear from him.  Of course, right?  Because that is usually when men show up in my life, when I don’t want them to!  Seriously though, my house looks like Hurricane Katrina came back to life and ran through it!  So I have my work cut out for me!

Hope you have a great night!  This is what mine looks like!

Adventures in Dating Services (Part 2) / Shecooksinstilettos.com

CHEERS!

BRING SEXY BACK!

In 2006 Justin Timberlake brought “SexyBack.”  Then what happened?  Shows like “What Not to Wear,” “America’s Next Top Model,” and “Project Runway” were huge.  So what has happened to fashion?

This is a bit of a soapbox topic for me, but I used to work at Express where we were told we needed to look like we just stepped off a runway.  Everyday.  Period.  No one would have DREAMED of wearing flip flops to work!  In fact, someone did once and was sent home.  I don’t think she came back.  Ever.  Now walk into “young” fashion stores like Express, Charlotte Russe, Forever 21, whatever, what do you see?  Jeans, flip flops and pretty much anything goes!  (Oh yeah, we weren’t allowed to wear jeans either!  This was only about 10 years ago, btw.)

Now, you guys know I love to cook, so I watch “The Chew” and “The Kitchen,” and the fashion??  BLEH!  The ladies of The Chew should be ASHAMED with Clinton Kelly (yes, the HOST of “What Not to Wear”) standing right next to them!  I don’t care if it is a “cooking” show, SWEATSHIRTS or GRAPHIC T’s should NOT be allowed!  I love Sunny Anderson, but COME ON!  I’m watching an episode right now, she is wearing a grey, horizontal, wide-stripped tee with a gray, waffle hoodie sweatshirt!  Her hair is another story, but I’ll leave that alone.

WHAT HAS HAPPENED?!  (Dear lord!  Just noticed Katie is wearing a brown and blue  wide, horizontal-stripped sweater with a HUGE ROOSTER on it!!  WHAT?!  WHY?!)  Sorry, where was I?  (OMG – just saw her skirt!!  add to the rooster sweater to an A-line pleated, black and red wide, CHEVRON-stripped skirt!!  Stop it.)

Okay, that’s it!  SOMETHING HAS GOT TO GIVE!!  I mean, even though I think she failed, at least Katie tried!  But this crap translates to the people watching!  Even to the point where my own father made a comment to me one time about women who would come into his shop.  He said “women don’t even try anymore.”  He was saying how women nowadays just throw on whatever is closest and easiest, no makeup, no effort.  I know we are busy, believe me, I know!  And yes, I know some people just don’t care about fashion.  But let’s take the word “fashion” out of this.  Let’s just say this is what you want the world to think of you.  I know this too could be argued.  BUT have you ever watched What Not to Wear?  The women get on there and BITCH about Clinton and Stacy throwing away their crappy clothes.  They argue that it doesn’t matter what clothes they wear, it is all about who they are inside.  But have you EVER seen an episode where there opinion didn’t completely change once they saw how nice they really could look?  NO!  I NEVER saw an episode where they got to the end and the chick was like, “Meh, it’s nice but…”  NO!  They were almost always in tears because they felt so good about themselves.  Why?  Because they were wearing nice clothes, makeup and their hair was done nicely.  That’s it!  No magic wand required.

I feel like somehow sites like “people of walmart.com” became so popular that people feel like, “well, at least I look better than them!”  I really hope this isn’t the standard you shoot for!  Keep your standards high, ladies!  Remember, it doesn’t matter where you are going when you leave the house, what matters is how you feel about yourself.  How you feel about yourself is reflected in what you choose to wear.  It all goes together.  Let’s start showing people that we have pride in ourselves!  I’m not talking full makeup or an evening gown.  But even if you are wearing jeans and a t-shirt, put your hair back into a ponytail and throw on a little lip gloss!  Hell, I don’t leave the house without a little blush and lipstick on!  That’s it.  (I also keep a few shades of lipstick in my purse for those extra busy days!)  DO SOMETHING!  Make SOME effort!  That’s all I’m asking!

Bring Sexy Back!  /  shecooksinstilettos.com

 

 

Adventures in Dating Services! (Part One)

The Consultation

It’s been about a month since my last post.  What a month August was!  But that is truly a whole other post.  Tonight, I’m catching you up on a new venture in my life: A DATING SERVICE!  No, not a website.  We’re not talking about Match, eHarmony or the like, we are talking true, old fashioned dating SERVICE!  Yes, I met with a real-life “Matchmaker!” (which from here on out will be called “MM”) And I put down some dough, some SERIOUS DOUGH!

Out of no where one day, someone introduced me to this local dating service.  Then she did her damnedest to talk me into it!  After going back and forth for about a month, I decide to try it out.  Since I am NOT a person who can spend money like this on something like THIS, I asked around to see what the word on the street was.  (I mean, there is no money-back guarantee with this!)  Couldn’t be mad, it was all positive, even calling her one of the best.

When I called to make the appointment I was met with a bunch of questions, some that led me to realize this chick I was talking to?…not so bright.  My favorite was after answering “yes” to the question: “Are you single, never married?,” she then asked me if I had any children.  After answering “no,” I got the sad “oh.”  REALLY?!  Wouldn’t that be the best answer??!!  This was also after she asked me a bunch of questions as if I had already been there!  She was about as dumb of a box of hair.  But, I assured myself this was NOT the MM.  So after never receiving the confirmation email I was told to expect, you know the one with their address in it and whatnot?, I made my way there one Monday afternoon in August.
I was met by the MM at the door who sat me down and gave me a couple of personality quizzes to answer and a COKE (SOLD!).  I know, I’m so easy!  LOL!  After that was done she brought me into her office and we started to chat.  (And yes, if you’re curious, box-of-hair chick was there too.)

Adventures in Dating Services / shecooksinstilettos.comI was SO NERVOUS!  I felt like I was ordering dinner, not a potential boyfriend!  It was weird.  I mean, I know they ask a lot of the same questions on dating sites, but when you’re actually telling someone that you are looking for someone who is from this age to this age, a non-smoker, et cetera, it just seems a bit demanding, you know?  We went through everything!  I was there for about an hour and a half!  Then it was time to “pick a package.”  Lordy!

We start with the “Lifetime Package!”  I’m SO not kidding!  I’m thinking, maybe we should eliminate any guy that has chosen THAT package!  Really?!  If you think it is going to take that long to find Mrs. Right, then there is either something really wrong with you, or I will never make you happy!  Either way – MOVING ON!  Now, the packages are based on number of “introductions.”  This means this is how many people with whom you are introduced.  I could (not really) afford the smallest package they offer…THREE!  (And we had to break that down into payments!  Man, I wish I was kidding!)  Anyway, for those of you who have hung in to hear how much THREE introductions cost me:  ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS!!  Nope – you did not misread that.  1,000 smackers!

After the consultation was all said and done, I headed home where I immediately started having heart palpitations and buyers remorse!  Then, of course, I remembered all the bills I had due in August.  Bills that are due once a year even!  Like personal property taxes, car insurance…OH!  And one of my licenses that is only due every 2 years!  Yep!  Due in August!  I absolutely freaked!  But I kept telling myself that maybe this is how it had to happen.  I had to be forced.  I mean, I just felt so obligated after sitting with this MM for over an hour and a half.  I know, most of you would say “not me!” and bolt.  But I am also the kind of person that once my mind is made up, it is made up.  So it was time to try something new!  Quite honestly, the silence in my home is, on occasion, deafening.  I’m sure one day I’ll beg for it back!

All I can do now is hope that this was the right decision!  I plan to keep you all updated!  So check back soon!  I am officially “live” in there database, so who knows what could happen any day now!  (Being “live” means they have all my money!  Because as the MM said “We can’t repossess your boyfriend!”)  If it doesn’t work out, then oh well, at least I gave it a shot!

Reflecting Robin

Today is the second day that my Facebook page has been flooded with images and remembrances of the late, great Robin Williams.  Tears have poured from my eyes at times when I think of what we have lost.  But I can’t help but wonder how dark things really were in his world.  He seemed to have it all together; laughing and joking.  Which, those of us who have suffered from depression can understand that sometimes you just have to put on your “happy face.”  And Robin did that brilliantly.  The part I’m having a really hard time with are the many stories about how interactive he was with people behind the scenes.  Often, people suffering with depression withdraw from others.  They do what needs to be done, and then retract into their “shell” so to speak.  The stories I’m reading online do not coincide with this.  The Today show posted how he talked to all of the cast and crew; he wanted to hear their stories.  After the cameras stopped rolling, he would go out on the Plaza and shake hands with fans that had gathered in hopes of just getting a glimpse of the legendary performer.  Then I am reminded of my own depression and how we have our good days and bad days.  That is when I can say “I get it.”  I also realize how incredibly draining it must have been for him at the end of the day, yet he never seemed to let audiences down.

If you have never suffered from depression, it is very hard to understand.  (I’m sure I just thought “oh wait!  I shouldn’t use the word ‘very!’ ”  Thank you “Dead Poet’s Society.”)  It is also hard to explain depression to anyone who hasn’t been there.  I was very lucky because my “dark times” are very few and far between.  Lately I have been pulling away from people, but in a much better, healthier place.  I have actually been getting to a place where I can be alone and be quiet.  That is the key; the quiet.  Having depression or anxiety, honestly for me it was often more anxiety then depression, can be very LOUD in your head!  As a kid/teen, I figured out a way to turn my TV on at night to cancel out the activity going on in my head.  It is very real.  No, it isn’t “voices,” but possibly just as distracting!  For those wondering:  Turn your TV on to something you have seen more times than you can remember, then turn it down to where you can hear it, but you can’t understand what they are saying.  It confuses the brain, and therefore kind of cancels out the internal noise.  The radio doesn’t work for this.  Melodies make you know what song is playing, then you will sing along, and that just doesn’t work.

The worst part about reading all of this on Robin is wondering where all of these messages about how to be helpful to friends with depression were when I needed it!  So all of this is hitting a little too close to home.  I mean, don’t get me wrong, I could never take my own life!  But I do understand how it can happen.  I’ve been close enough to understand.  I just couldn’t do it.  I mean, I know how I would do it…but that is normal to think about that, right?  Right?  😉  Reading all of these great things that are out there for people NOW, TODAY, following Robin’s death are now in the forefront.  Seriously, where was this a few years ago?  I was going through such a rough and dark time, and literally my closest friends avoided me.  Why?  Because they didn’t know what to say.  Well, there’s a good reason!  Especially since I was never asking for anyone to say or do anything!  People just feel this need to fix things.  Speaking even for people without depression, we don’t need you to fix things, we just need you to BE PRESENT!  That is all we ever really want from anyone, isn’t it?  Put the damn phone/tablet/laptop down and BE PRESENT!

So here I was, feeling beaten and alone.  I was told to see a therapist and was avoided.  Luckily, I’m too damn stubborn to let it get me down completely, so I fought.  Even discarded a few friends along the way.  (I even told some EXACLTY what I needed, but no, I didn’t get that either!  But then I’d feel guilty because I wasn’t their responsibility, and they had their own lives to lead.  Oh sorry.  Rambling… I guess reading all of these things makes me think back to those people and go “SEE!  I didn’t make this shit up!”  Okay…)

I am in a much better place now.  Maybe older and wiser, and less things get to me.  I have also learned that my depression/anxiety was a side effect of A.D.D.  (That was a tricky one to figure out when you are over 20!  Doctors don’t typically go to that.  “Oh, you are a woman, over the age of 20?  It must be anxiety or depression!  Here, let’s try this drug.  Oh that one didn’t work?  Let’s try this one.  Oh, you are having these side effects?  We should up the dosage!”  Seriously, multiple doctors took this approach!  I – ME – I finally figured out what I had and my doctor said “Okay, well, we haven’t gone that route yet.  Let’s give it a try.”  Seriously…I’m not making this up!)

To have true clinical depression is such a scary thought.  I have tasted that Kool-Aid, but never had to drink it.  I can’t imagine having feelings or thoughts that what I am experiencing right now may never go away.  That hopelessness that people speak of; that is frightening.

All I can say is I HOPE people learn from this.  Maybe even if they can’t understand depression, MDD, bipolar disorder, BPD, et cetera,  maybe at the VERY least, just maybe, they can appreciate it and not run from it.  It isn’t contagious!

Reflecting Robin @shecooksinstilettos.comRest In Peace, Robin.  You brought us more laughs in your short 63 years than we could have ever hoped for!  There will never be another.

 

Cheers. :'(

 

 

 

Pic from fanpop.com

An Ah-ha Moment

Do you ever find yourself in a rut?  Like you know you need or want a change but you have NO idea what it is?  That is part of the reason I started this blog.  I needed to find something new, something fun and yet challenging.  A way to find fulfillment, maybe through my own creativity.  Maybe it is because I am a STRONG pisces, but I always seem to need something NEW.

live like there's no tomorrowSo this evening I was watching an episode of Oprah’s “Where Are They Now?” which I DVR (I don’t actually watch TV, just DVR!) and saw Rachelle Friedman.  Remember her?  She is also known as “The Paralyzed Bride.”  She was the young girl who was pushed into a pool during her bachelorette party, suffered an instant spinal cord injury, and has been in a wheelchair ever since.  This was a few years ago.

We hear phrases like “my life changed in an instant” all the time, but for some reason, tonight, it turned a light on in my head.  It made me realize things CAN change in an instant!  It could happen to me, or anyone I love and care about!  Now, of course, it could also be in a good way, and that would be a happy bonus.  OR you could end up in a wheelchair or worse.  Of course, you could also say “this was such a freak accident, what are the odds?”  Well, lets think about texting and driving, drinking and driving, the odds just shot up!  We never know when we may not have a tomorrow, or what tomorrow will look like.  But we CAN do something about today!

Now, I am not a thrill-seeker by any means, nor does this mean I’ve decided to travel around the world.  What it means is that I am going to work harder to appreciate all that I do have.  You know they say that happiness is all about enjoying what you have, not worrying about what you don’t.  My life is a simple one.  And that is okay.  When I feel myself getting frustrated for what I do not have, I will think of Rachelle.  Remind myself of how fortunate I really am!

As for Rachelle, she’s doing okay to!  In case you’re interested:  She still married the man to whom she was intended and they are even trying to have a baby via surrogate!  Good luck and best wishes to her and her soon to be family!

Goodnight, all!

CHEERS!

<3, Lila