Adventures in Dating Services! (Part One)

The Consultation

It’s been about a month since my last post.  What a month August was!  But that is truly a whole other post.  Tonight, I’m catching you up on a new venture in my life: A DATING SERVICE!  No, not a website.  We’re not talking about Match, eHarmony or the like, we are talking true, old fashioned dating SERVICE!  Yes, I met with a real-life “Matchmaker!” (which from here on out will be called “MM”) And I put down some dough, some SERIOUS DOUGH!

Out of no where one day, someone introduced me to this local dating service.  Then she did her damnedest to talk me into it!  After going back and forth for about a month, I decide to try it out.  Since I am NOT a person who can spend money like this on something like THIS, I asked around to see what the word on the street was.  (I mean, there is no money-back guarantee with this!)  Couldn’t be mad, it was all positive, even calling her one of the best.

When I called to make the appointment I was met with a bunch of questions, some that led me to realize this chick I was talking to?…not so bright.  My favorite was after answering “yes” to the question: “Are you single, never married?,” she then asked me if I had any children.  After answering “no,” I got the sad “oh.”  REALLY?!  Wouldn’t that be the best answer??!!  This was also after she asked me a bunch of questions as if I had already been there!  She was about as dumb of a box of hair.  But, I assured myself this was NOT the MM.  So after never receiving the confirmation email I was told to expect, you know the one with their address in it and whatnot?, I made my way there one Monday afternoon in August.
I was met by the MM at the door who sat me down and gave me a couple of personality quizzes to answer and a COKE (SOLD!).  I know, I’m so easy!  LOL!  After that was done she brought me into her office and we started to chat.  (And yes, if you’re curious, box-of-hair chick was there too.)

Adventures in Dating Services / shecooksinstilettos.comI was SO NERVOUS!  I felt like I was ordering dinner, not a potential boyfriend!  It was weird.  I mean, I know they ask a lot of the same questions on dating sites, but when you’re actually telling someone that you are looking for someone who is from this age to this age, a non-smoker, et cetera, it just seems a bit demanding, you know?  We went through everything!  I was there for about an hour and a half!  Then it was time to “pick a package.”  Lordy!

We start with the “Lifetime Package!”  I’m SO not kidding!  I’m thinking, maybe we should eliminate any guy that has chosen THAT package!  Really?!  If you think it is going to take that long to find Mrs. Right, then there is either something really wrong with you, or I will never make you happy!  Either way – MOVING ON!  Now, the packages are based on number of “introductions.”  This means this is how many people with whom you are introduced.  I could (not really) afford the smallest package they offer…THREE!  (And we had to break that down into payments!  Man, I wish I was kidding!)  Anyway, for those of you who have hung in to hear how much THREE introductions cost me:  ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS!!  Nope – you did not misread that.  1,000 smackers!

After the consultation was all said and done, I headed home where I immediately started having heart palpitations and buyers remorse!  Then, of course, I remembered all the bills I had due in August.  Bills that are due once a year even!  Like personal property taxes, car insurance…OH!  And one of my licenses that is only due every 2 years!  Yep!  Due in August!  I absolutely freaked!  But I kept telling myself that maybe this is how it had to happen.  I had to be forced.  I mean, I just felt so obligated after sitting with this MM for over an hour and a half.  I know, most of you would say “not me!” and bolt.  But I am also the kind of person that once my mind is made up, it is made up.  So it was time to try something new!  Quite honestly, the silence in my home is, on occasion, deafening.  I’m sure one day I’ll beg for it back!

All I can do now is hope that this was the right decision!  I plan to keep you all updated!  So check back soon!  I am officially “live” in there database, so who knows what could happen any day now!  (Being “live” means they have all my money!  Because as the MM said “We can’t repossess your boyfriend!”)  If it doesn’t work out, then oh well, at least I gave it a shot!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *